Thank you for sharing in these memories of ours. Since finishing the first year-long drawing project, I’ve continued documenting our life in drawings.
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Continued below…
I made this sketch and the following description about a week after we found out we miscarried, but again I felt the strangeness of sharing something so private, so I’ve kept it to myself. Like I mentioned in image #1, I’ve felt an urgency to share this today, knowing that if anyone feels any comfort at all from these in their own grieving process, then my discomfort in sharing them means very little.
— 7/30/16 When going through grief, some people might need to go for a run, some might write a song, or journal, I have to create an image because it says more accurately what I’m feeling than what I can communicate with words.
I called this ‘Closure’ because last night was a strange moment for me, realizing that I needed to physically touch Jordin’s stomach and say goodbye to our baby. What I’ve realized, is that since I found out we miscarried, I haven’t been able to touch Jordin’s stomach, like I haven’t wanted to acknowledge what wasn’t happening inside. I used to touch Jordin’s stomach all the time and I would talk to the baby in it, like the baby could hear me through her belly button and knew my voice. I didn’t realize that I needed it, but last night, I asked Jordin if I could touch her stomach. What I wanted was to feel it and say goodbye to our baby before it was physically gone. I needed it…
Like Closure.
So, this was part of our grieving process, one night, July 29th, after our miscarriage… I wrote her a letter, cried with Jordin, Jordin and I danced together, and then I journaled through a sketch.
“Meet my family”
Curtis
January 3, 2017 – “We’re getting published!”
We’re officially getting published. We just signed off with Andrews McMeel Universal, responsible for publishing variations of such works as Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, and Garfield. I’m beyond thrilled that these very personal sketches of me and Jordin are going to be made into such a legitimate book by one of my favorite publishers in the world. Coming this year. More details to come!
Squeaked this one in just before midnight :) goodnight!
“Setting a real clock”
(Decided to try moving our phones into the living room tonight… to separate from them… steady breaths… it will be okay…)
“They’re sharing a room”
Sister & Brother-in-law came over tonight.
“Bapa Nino!!”
Translation: “Bapa Nino” = “Daddy Rhino”
“Boys’ Breakfast”
Had to get the boys out of the house this weekend while Jordin decorated for Hayden’s birthday party.
It’s official. I’ve become nerdily obsessed with my new ping pong table.
“We love movies.”
Rogue One date-night
I might be in a minority group here, but I think movies are extremely underpriced. Every time I sit in a theater, the previews begin, and I feel like I should have paid more than $400 to be sitting there. Nowhere else can I see something that has combined that much talent, resources, time, and money, for the soul purpose of entertaining me with a story.
I just stare at the screen, thinking “this was made by some of the most talented lighting designers, actors, writers, directors, producers, CGI specialists, sound designers, composers, costume designers, makeup artists, set designers, production teams, and so many more roles, in the world, and they have spent more money on this than any other kind of entertainment piece I can think of. How in the world did I just pay between $10-$20 to sit here? And why on earth would it be legal for me to pay $1 to rent this from Red Box in a few weeks?”
Movies are amazing.
I feel lucky to exist in a time when movies are so respected. I think in a couple hundred years, people might think how silly for us to have put so much emphasis on “movies and Hollywood”, but they will nonetheless name the previous centuries, and I think they will name our century, “The Storytellers”.
I miss you
All good things. Our beautiful kids, work, life. All good things, between you and me.
But I miss you.
“Plane Ride”
It seems like conversations on planes are more meaningful than most of the ones we have on the ground. It’s like we have a mutual understanding as passengers, that we are all “between places”. We are safe to not be the person we just were on the ground or the person we have to become when we land. We can float in this version of ourselves that only exists on planes. An atheist may pretend to believe in God for the sake of engaging conversation. Another person may share more about him or herself with the stranger next to them than they would with a counselor. I engage more with strangers on a plane than I do on the ground. Sometimes I think we get off the plane and wish we could bring that version of ourselves with us.
“I don’t feel like drawing today.”
“Confused.”
Chili’s
Nights out don’t always end like this. When they do, I want to remember it.
Sick day.
Strangely sick today. The kind where you don’t talk about the details. Just a quick phone pic for today’s sketch.
“Her”
Most of the time, when I don’t have a specific image in mind to draw, I find myself just picturing Jordin’s face, always close up for some reason. I like trying out different tools and using different drawing styles to capture her face in different ways. Never will I be able to get it all on paper the way I see it each day, but each time I do it, I typically get one element closer to how I get to see it every day of my life. In this case I think I got her mouth a step closer to what I see. Not perfect, but closer. In the 1/14/17 drawing “I cry when I look at you”, I felt like I got her collarbone one step closer to the reality I see. Someday I want to capture her eyes right. I think I could probably do an entire piece just to one eye, but I should probably use color when I do that, since they’re green, like “ice spheres with plants and greens frozen inside” (that’s the way I’ve described them since we started dating in high school). Someday I’ll master her whole face. Not.
Dad’s Day
I can’t believe I’m an actual dad.
February 14, 2017 – “The Way We Sleep – Phase 3”
I love sleeping with you, Jordin. Feeling your legs under the sheets is the most comforting thing in the world to me.
Happy Valentine’s Day. I will love you forever.
– Curtis
Define: Procrastipacker. “One who marathon-packs over an all nighter before a trip, and somehow also creates a new and unreasonable/unrelated task list to complete before leaving.
For a true procrastipacker, it will happen every single trip from here on out, regardless of attempts to change.”
Jordin told me I couldn’t share this one, but I love it so much, so I begged her and begged her and begged, until she ran out of energy to keep fighting me.
April 3, 2017 – “We’ll make them uncomfortable someday. For now, they just think it’s funny when I attack their mom.”
“Daily Commute”
I love my home. My home is one of the things I am most proud of, and most thankful for, because I literally had nothing to do with it.
I turned 29 today.
Jordin, there’s no one else I’d rather do this with.
“I’m sorry.”
May 30, 2017 – “stealthy photographer”
Work Trip – Croatia – Day 5 / 9
“Skype”Work Trip – Croatia – Day 8 / 9
For my last lunch break, my art things were packed away with the cameras, but I found this tiny little pencil and notepad in my hotel room! Missing them! One more shoot to go, then one more looong travel day.
“Jordin’s Mother’s Day card”
I often cry when I draw us (or even draw just jordin). It usually happens when I get some basic shapes first sketched in, and suddenly I see the whole finished picture in my head, and it breaks me to tears, because I’m so overwhelmed at how beautiful the final image is in my head, and how thankful I am for the people in it.
Then it’s a matter of work, to try to show someone else the image I see in my head. Sometimes the finished picture is very close to what is in my head, sometimes it’s less close. That is what makes drawing both difficult and rewarding.
J – “Are you just going to stand there the whole time?” C – “Yeah.”
Another one @jordinwiklund is dying over. I can’t help what moments pop into my head!!!
Here’s how this happened:
In the middle of the night, I tried to get Hayden to fall asleep. I fell asleep.
In the morning, Hayden woke up first. Jordin made him breakfast, she tried to find me, and the bed looked so cozy, etc.
We woke up later, and the boys were watching us, very confused.
I haven’t drawn much this past week, because I’ve been working round the clock on the book with the publisher. The book went to print this week! I love the design and feel of it. Can’t believe it’s happening.
I believe it will be available in stores before Christmas this year.
A post about pre-orders will be coming soon. I may be sending out some signed copies too.
Until then, one of my favorites from the book. “Some Place I’d Like To Be”
“Please stop growing.”
His legs are getting so long. 😢
“Watching Mommy sing.”
A couple weeks ago, I snuck Casen and Hayden out of their class at church, to watch their mom sing. Today, the little info card thing they hand out, was blank on the back. Clearly, it’s for us who like to doodle while we listen.
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I’m Curtis. I’m married to instagram.com/jordinwiklund (I stole these pics from her feed). You can browse a good portion of our story through these drawings. I draw myself and my family a lot and it’s bizarre that anyone knows about that other than my close friends and family. It’s basically my way to journal and I love it. I feel free, “like I’m doing the right thing”, when I sit down to draw things I don’t want to forget.
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I’m a wedding and commercial photographer by trade (curtiswiklundphoto.com) My wife, @jordinwiklund and I mostly shoot together. During the work days, I do the business type stuff (or at least I try), and Jordin since having kids runs our day care (meaning our 3 kids). We are in love with film photography, and photographing couples is our unified passion, which is why we shoot together. This is our 10th year in business, and we are still on a high every time we finish photographing a wedding.
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Drawing… It’s not my job. But it feels important. So I try to treat it like a job. It was a childhood hobby of mine, and a few years into marriage, Jordin inspired/challenged me, with a 365 day daily project idea, wondering why I never drew anymore. That began a new hobby, documenting my life in drawings. More to that story, but fast forward for now…
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Many of those drawings from the 365 day project, are now in a book available worldwide, titled “Us” by Curtis Wiklund. Check wherever you would normally buy a book, and it’s probably there. I still can’t believe it’s real. It was a childhood dream of mine, to have my drawings appear in a real book I can someday show my kids and grandkids. The fact that it’s about our life is so internally stirring, because it feels like “just my journal”. So many people around the world though, have told me they’ve found validation in themselves, and in their relationships by seeing ours.
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I’ve learned through this season, that it’s very good to share. It feels so good and affirming when we find an artist who “gets us”. Musicians are like that to me. I know of a few musician artists who probably will never know me, but I feel like they “get me”, and I’m comforted daily by their music. If you or anyone else can feel comforted by me sharing my personal journal, publicly, then it’s good and I will try hard not to be protective of my private feelings. It’s good to share. It’s good to share. (I’ll try to keep telling myself that, because by default, I’m a pretty private person)
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A few more ‘real pictures’…
3 car seats in my Subaru! Funny, it’s emotional seeing all the kids in the car together.
PS – check out clek car seats if you’re trying to fit 3 car seats in a smaller car. I didn’t even know this was an option. I thought we’d have to get a minivan. Maybe some day, but for now this fits our life well :)
This page will continually be updated with new posts.
“Thank you for sharing these memories with us. Our book of our early married life is now available worldwide! This is so crazy it’s really happening! Thank you!!” – Curtis and Jordin
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